Nothing in Life is Free
The NILIF program is a remarkable program because it is so effective for the use of a wide variety of problems. A shy and timid dog becomes more relaxed knowing that he has nothing to worry about; his owner is in charge of all things. A dog that is trying to be "top dog" learns that the position is not available and that he will enjoy life more without the title. This program is equally successful with dogs that fall anywhere between either one of these extremes. This program is not difficult or time consuming if your dog already knows a few basic obedience commands.
Attention on Demand
The NILIF begins by eliminating attention on demand. When your dog comes to you and nudges your hand, saying "pet me! pet me!".... Do NOT tell him "no", do not push him away. Simply ignore and pretend you do not notice him. This has worked before, so he may try harder to get your attention. When he figures out that this does not work, he will stop. In a pack situation, only the top ranking dogs are allowed to demand attention from the lower ranking dogs, never the other way around. When you give your dog the attention he wants you're telling him that he has higher rank in the pack than you. Timid and shy dogs become stressed by having this power and may become very clingy. They aren't very sure when you'll be in charge so they can not relax. What if something scary happens, like a stranger coming to the door? Who will handle this? The timid and shy dog that is demanding attention will be on edge a lot of the time because he has more responsibility than he can handle.
Some dogs see their ability to demand attention as confirmation that they are the "Alpha Dog" and they become difficult to handle when they are told to "sit", "stay", or "down". It is not their leadership status that stresses them out, it's the consistency. Dogs are happiest when the pack order is stable. Tension is created by constant fluctuation of pack leader.
Extinction Bursts
Your dog already knows that he can demand your attention and he knows what to do to get that to happen. But as of today... that no longer works, but he doesn't know that yet. We all try harder at something we know works when it stops working. When your dog learns that the behaviors that used to get him your attention do not work anymore he's going to try harder and he's going to have an extinction burst. If you give him attention during that time you will have to work that much harder to get him turned around again. Telling him "no" or pushing him away is not the kind of attention he wants, but its still attention. Completely ignoring him will work faster and better.
You have the power
As the owner you have the ability to control all things that are wonderful in his life. This is the backbone of the NILIF program. You control all of the resources; playing, attention, food, walks, going in and out of the door, going for a car ride, going to the park, and etc. Anything and Everything that your dog wants and needs comes from you. If he has been getting these things for free, then there is no real reason for him to respect your leadership or your ownership. Whether he is the timid/shy type or pushy/dominate dog they are both going to be difficult to handle and they both would prefer for you to be in charge.
To implement the NILIF program you simply have to have your dog earn his use of your resource. He's hungry? No problem, he simply has to sit before his bowl is put down. He wants to play fetch? Great! He has to "down" before you throw the ball. Want to go for a ride or walk? He has to sit to get his lead snapped on and has to sit while the front door is opened. He has to sit and wait while the car door is opened and listen for the word (I use "OK", come on) that means "get into the car". When you return he has to wait for the word that means "get out of the car" even if the door is wide open. Do Not be too hard on him. He's already learned that he can make all of these decisions on his own. He has a strong history of being in control of when he gets these resources. Enforce new rules, but keep in mind that he's only doing what he's been taught to do and he's going to need some time to get the hang of it.
You now have to pay attention to things that you probably haven't noticed before. If you ever feed your dog from your plate and you just toss him a piece food, No more! He has to now earn it. You don't have to use standard obedience commands, any kind of action will do. If your dog knows "shake", "speak", or "spin" use one of those commands. Does your dog sleep on your bed? Teach him that he now has to wait for you to say "Ok" to get onto the bed and he has to get down if you say "Off". Teach him to go to his bed on command. When he goes to his spot and lays down tell him "stay" and then release him with a treat reward. Having a particular spot where he stays is very helpful for when you have guests or otherwise need him out of the way for a while. It also teaches him that free run of the house is a resource that YOU control.
The Nothing in Life is Free process should not be a long, drawn out process. All you need to do is enforce a simple command before allowing him access to what he wants. Dinner, for example, should be a two - three second encounter that consists on nothing more than saying "sit", then "good dog!", then putting the bowl down and walking away.
Attention and Play
Now that your dog is no longer calling the shots you will have to make the extra effort to provide him with attention and play time. Call him to you, have him "sit" and then love on him and give him as much attention as you want. Have him get his favorite toy and play as long as you both have the energy. The difference is now you will be the one initiating the attention and beginning the play time. He's going to depend on you now, a lot more than before, to see that he gets what he needs. What he needs most is quality time with you. This would be the best time to enroll in a group obedience class. If his basic obedience is top notch, see about joining an agility class or fly ball team.
Nothing in Life for Free does NOT mean that you have to restrict the amount of attention you give your dog. The NILIF concept speaks to who initiates the attention (you), not the amount of attention. Go ahead call your dog to you 1000 times a day for hugs and kisses!! You can demand his attention; he can no longer demand yours!
